Answer: areaman

AnswerCrossword Clue
AREAMANCommon protagonist in The Onion
AREAMANLocal, in a news story
AREAMANSubject of many an "Onion" article
AREAMANSubject of many Onion news stories
AREAMANFrequent subject of headlines in The Onion
AREAMANFacetious subject of many articles in The Onion